If you are serious about getting back together with your ex though, it might be best to think before you act. Much of this advice may go against what your instincts are telling you but here are three of the most common relationship killers and the reasons why they are poison to your ex’s affection.

Contact – It might be very tempting to call your ex, text him, email him or even want to stop by his home to check on him or talk with him. You might be curious about what he’s up to or if he might have changed his mind. You might worry that he will forget that you still love him or that you still want him back.

Your instinct to reach out to him is a trap that you should avoid at all costs. He has dumped you. Let him be the one to initiate contact. He is probably a smart fellow and he can come up with some sort of excuse to call you. And if you really are afraid that he doesn’t know if you still love him or not… Let him wonder. Give him the time and space to miss you and wonder what YOU are doing and whether or not you still think of him and love him instead.

Talking – Even though you might feel that you two can work things out and come to some sort of an agreement after talking through your differences, this is secondary to actually making the commitment to be back together again. This desire to talk is only a thinly veiled attempt to change his mind or convince him that he has made a mistake in dumping you and that you should get back together. All of this may be true but any attempt to change his mind is only going to be met with resistance and will hurt you in the long run.

Until he has that heartfelt desire to be with you again any talk about what went wrong or why he made the decision to end the relationship is a moot point. There is no sense in dredging up the past and airing your dirty laundry unless something positive will come of it in the long run. Once he comes back to you, and he WILL come back to you, then it is time to talk about how you will handle conflict and problems when they arise. Honestly though, once the love has returned to your relationship you will find that you won’t want to talk of these things for a long time. You will be too busy being in LOVE again!

Promising – Making a laundry list of things that you promise never to do again based upon your ex’s reasons why he chose to leave may seem like a great idea. After all, if you promise never to do any of the things that he said that caused him to leave then there will be no reason for him to ever leave again, right?

Promising borders on begging and taking such a stance only makes you appear weak and needy. When you fell in love initially you both accepted each other as you were. There is even a chance that some of the things that he complained about in the end where traits that he thought were cute or endearing. If you ever stand a chance of getting him back again you are going to be strong and accept yourself the way you are… and he should and will too.

Of course, if there are some glaring character faults that you feel that you need to clean up for your own good then by all means do so. Chemical dependency, extreme jealousy, insecurity, controlling and manipulative behavior can be quite harmful to a healthy relationship but easy taken care of in any and all cases. Do these things for yourself though so you yourself can be happy because you deserve to be happy first and foremost.

Take some time and go over these treacherous pitfalls that so many women fall into when trying to get their ex back. If you are tempted to follow your instincts and try to convince yourself that they are the right thing to do, read this over again. With a little help you are going to get him back and in the end you will be a happier, stronger woman with her self esteem intact.

For a thorough and time tested plan for getting him back we recommend “Get Him Back Forever“. Find out how you can use male psychology to bring him running back to you and bring him back so he’ll never want to leave you again.

Breakups are never easy

The simple fact is that if you have been pursuing your ex or been trying to stay in touch with him you are actually driving him away. This is human nature. But if this is true then the inverse is also true. Soon he will want you back because he believes that he can’t have you. Do you understand?

Take advantage of these powerful tactics and soon you will begin to see a change in him… a very pleasant change if you are hoping to get your ex back.

No Contact – This is a basic. From here on out you will not initiate any contact with your ex. There will be no more phone calls or text messages or emails coming from you to check on him or ask him any questions. He has broken up with you and any attempt on your part, no matter how legitimate it may be, is viewed as an act of manipulation and it makes you appear weak and needy. I’m sorry… this may hurt but I am truthful because I want what’s best for you.

Soon you will have all the time in the world to talk and chat and discuss current events but for right now. This is your time to heal and grow strong again because of what he has put you through. Take advantage of this time because you’re not going to be single for long.

Create Some Mystery – Along with this sudden change in your routine of not contacting your ex will come a bit of mystery. He will be relieved at first that you have stopped calling, texting, writing and whatever else you’ve been doing to try to stay in his life in some little way. To further enhance this air of mystery it is advisable that you begin to change up your schedule a bit. Maybe you can start by going out with some friends on a regular basis or even taking an extra day or two off from work and go away for a long weekend.

The change in your pattern of behavior will begin to make him wonder what’s going on in your life. If you have mutual friends you can let them know that you’re going away for the weekend or that you’re going out. You don’t have to tell them where you’re going and if you are questioned you can be vague and “mysterious”.

Move On – All of this leads to the appearance that you have moved on. You don’t have to really “move on” and find a secret lover. You simply want to give the appearance that this breakup hasn’t affected you in quite the way that he may have thought originally. Soon doubt will begin to creep in followed by curiosity and there is a very good chance that soon his mind will shift and he will realize that you may have moved on with your life… with another man.

Jealousy is a very powerful emotion as you may have already experienced yourself if you have given any thought to your ex being with another woman. It can eat you up inside and cause a human being to do some pretty drastic things to win back what they once pushed away.

With a little patience and discipline you can use these tactics to your advantage and bring about a change in your ex that is 180 degrees from where things may be right now. Just remember… you need to take a little time for yourself because you deserve it.

If you are interested in some powerful, gut level, blackhat tactics that have worked for others to bring their ex to their knees go to Matt Huston’s Get Him Back Forever Homepage. Find out what you can do when you feel that there is absolutely no hope and you just want a surefire way to Get Him Back.