Falling in love is easy and when you and your partner first fell in love chances are it was almost effortless. Think back to those early days when the two of you were carefree and filled with joy. You may not think that it would be that easy to get your boyfriend or husband back again but it really might be if you can avoid many of the common and almost deadly mistakes that most women make after a breakup.
If you are serious about getting back together with your ex though, it might be best to think before you act. Much of this advice may go against what your instincts are telling you but here are three of the most common relationship killers and the reasons why they are poison to your ex’s affection.
Contact – It might be very tempting to call your ex, text him, email him or even want to stop by his home to check on him or talk with him. You might be curious about what he’s up to or if he might have changed his mind. You might worry that he will forget that you still love him or that you still want him back.
Your instinct to reach out to him is a trap that you should avoid at all costs. He has dumped you. Let him be the one to initiate contact. He is probably a smart fellow and he can come up with some sort of excuse to call you. And if you really are afraid that he doesn’t know if you still love him or not… Let him wonder. Give him the time and space to miss you and wonder what YOU are doing and whether or not you still think of him and love him instead.
Talking – Even though you might feel that you two can work things out and come to some sort of an agreement after talking through your differences, this is secondary to actually making the commitment to be back together again. This desire to talk is only a thinly veiled attempt to change his mind or convince him that he has made a mistake in dumping you and that you should get back together. All of this may be true but any attempt to change his mind is only going to be met with resistance and will hurt you in the long run.
Until he has that heartfelt desire to be with you again any talk about what went wrong or why he made the decision to end the relationship is a moot point. There is no sense in dredging up the past and airing your dirty laundry unless something positive will come of it in the long run. Once he comes back to you, and he WILL come back to you, then it is time to talk about how you will handle conflict and problems when they arise. Honestly though, once the love has returned to your relationship you will find that you won’t want to talk of these things for a long time. You will be too busy being in LOVE again!
Promising – Making a laundry list of things that you promise never to do again based upon your ex’s reasons why he chose to leave may seem like a great idea. After all, if you promise never to do any of the things that he said that caused him to leave then there will be no reason for him to ever leave again, right?
Promising borders on begging and taking such a stance only makes you appear weak and needy. When you fell in love initially you both accepted each other as you were. There is even a chance that some of the things that he complained about in the end where traits that he thought were cute or endearing. If you ever stand a chance of getting him back again you are going to be strong and accept yourself the way you are… and he should and will too.
Of course, if there are some glaring character faults that you feel that you need to clean up for your own good then by all means do so. Chemical dependency, extreme jealousy, insecurity, controlling and manipulative behavior can be quite harmful to a healthy relationship but easy taken care of in any and all cases. Do these things for yourself though so you yourself can be happy because you deserve to be happy first and foremost.
Take some time and go over these treacherous pitfalls that so many women fall into when trying to get their ex back. If you are tempted to follow your instincts and try to convince yourself that they are the right thing to do, read this over again. With a little help you are going to get him back and in the end you will be a happier, stronger woman with her self esteem intact.
For a thorough and time tested plan for getting him back we recommend “Get Him Back Forever“. Find out how you can use male psychology to bring him running back to you and bring him back so he’ll never want to leave you again.